The untitled blog entry

I have been immersing myself inside the works of talk radio. TED Radio, Snap Judgement, This American Life and Radio Lab. I listen to it early in the morning, at school and after school. It almost feels as if I am trying to hide behind those shows. I can close my eyes and imagine a world of what the people are talking about. I have found myself crying sometimes, because these shows are so real, so raw, so true. I was listening to one yesterday where a man who studies apes, said he has spent his entire career telling people not to touch them, to stay away from them because they are dangerous. He explained that one day he was out in Africa studying them and at night decided to go for a walk, but lost his way from the camp he was in. When he realized that he would be spending the night in the dangerous jungle, he saw an ape, she extended her arm and put her hand out. He quickly grabbed on to her hand and she walked him back to camp. I don't know why the whole aspect of this brought tears to my eyes. I guess because he had spent his lifetime teaching something, then one day experiences the total opposite. It's like life really, you spend your life staying away from what's not right, but once you do that one thing you didn't want to do, it turns out to be ok. I know, I make no sense. These last few weeks have made nonsense to me either. Life threw a curve ball that I wasn't expecting and I have been trying to find ways to deal with it. The funny thing is, that this is not a curve ball that's mine, it's someone else's. But I care so much for this person, that I can't imagine not being a part of it. I wish I was, but that's not my journey to take. I can't hold on, I have to let go. For my sanity, I must let go.

Anyway, today one of my students wrote this on my whiteboard. Some kids were laughing, others wanted to erase it. "Those are lies ms! We love you!" One of my students said. I left it there to make a point. You may hate me, but you don't know me. Your words don't hurt me and I will prove that by keeping your writing in my wall.