State of grace

I walked in to my classroom this morning and caught the silhouette of an empty desk. I had not turner on the lights, but some morning light hit the inside from the window I have.

Then I got sad and I began to cry.

I have 2.5 days to live and work here in Midland and I have promised myself I would not be sad and I would not cry. Better things are coming my way, is what my sister keeps telling me. And she's right. I have to keep my head up. I have to look forward and move on to the next stage of my life. But sometimes that's hard to do when you know where you want to be. Holding on, not wanting to let go, but knowing you have to go.

This feeling I felt when I left Bay City. After a few years of successful work, I knew it was time to move on. I had to go to my next goal - to work for a daily full time. And I cried when people would tell me they would miss me. I cried when I walked inside the newsroom one last time, I cried when I sent the newspaper to bed one last time.

This is how it feels now. I have fallen in love with Midland, but I guess Midland never loved me back.

Tomorrow is one day closer to leaving town and I am so so sad. I was looking forward to a good bye dinner tomorrow night, but I had to cancel because of something that happened. I am so sad I won't be able to say good bye to my work friends. I will just see them at work and say good bye, like nothing and that is sad.