Falling from cloud nine

I have been at Starbucks all morning, my second cup of coffee, surfing the internet and have been avoiding what I usually do on Sundays. 

Yep, it's lesson planning Sunday. The one day I review what I will be teaching and how I will be teaching it. This is a time when I create power points, print handouts, review what I will do each day. I spend half my day at school preparing.

But am I doing it?

Nope. Been staring at this weeks TEKS. It should be a simple task, look at them, open the book and have an idea of what I will teach.

But I have something else on my mind. Last night I came to the realization that that one thing I was hoping for, wanting, had a little hope of flourishing - is never going to happen. Ever.

You try to analyze it. Is it me? Because when something doesn't work out, you always blame yourself. You are the one always at fault right? So you go over what you did, what you said, what you could have done. But in reality, it wasn't you who caused this. You open yourself to this crazy idea, you carefully creep in through the door and when you are sure there's light on the other side of the door, you walk through, sure of what's there.

But you are wrong.

Instead of light, you see sadness.

What am I talking about? Nothing that my one blogger reader or that one Tori Amos fan that Googled her and got me instead (which by the way, To Venus and Back the album is the best album ever.) would ever care to know.

Dear void, I leave you with this. I am walking back to my side of the door where it safe from heartbreak and pain.

Ok back to lesson planning. How do you cope with heartbreak? Comment or email me yo!