That's the way it is

I was walking inside to the school building this morning when I saw my department chair. She was walking inside the building too.

"Ms. Acosta, did hell freeze over?"

She raised her iPhone and checked the time, it was 7:40 am. We started to laugh, I am always at work before anyone else. The majority of the time, I always deactivate the building alarm. She's silly. And no, I wasn't late, teachers have to be at work by 8 am.

So why was I late? Well, remember I went to the doctor yesterday? I had to get some blood work done this morning. I had to fast and they opened at 7 am. I was in and out in about 15 minutes. It was surprisingly fast.

My poor vein! When the nurse pulled out the needle, blood kept coming. She asked if I had had any lab work done in the last few weeks because my vein was bruised. I told her about my two hospital visits. I should know my results later next week.

The work day went well. Most of my students presented their project and I was able to catch up with grading! Next week is review, and that means this weekend I will be studying and preparing for the review. I am excited.

Tonight I also attended my students Spring band concert. I am so glad and happy I attended. As I sat there, I watched as parents hugged their kids, straightened their dress or tie and send them off to sit and wait for the concert to start. Some of my students knew I was coming, others were surprised.

"Ms. Acosta you are here!" One yelled from his seat.

"Thank you so much for coming to see me!" Said another.

Even students that are not mine were coming over and excitingly waved and were excited I was there. They called me by name and that made me happy. Here I was, just wanting to come and check out the performance. After work I usually end up going straight to my apartment and read or watch television. This Friday, I wanted to do something different and I even ended up meeting a few parents.

To be honest, it was a little humbling and somewhat overwhelming to have had that response. I was there to see them and all they could do was be happy I was sitting there.

I teared up. Why did I wait so long to do this? I may not know what it feels to have a child, but all year long I have felt like a mother to 100 children. Even though they sometimes annoy me, get me angry and make me upset because they don't want to behave, I was so proud to be there. I felt like I was a parent and I was watching my child perform for the very first time. As a first year teacher, these are my first bunch of kids, the class of 2017 are my babies.

These kids have surprised me everyday. When I think I am having a terrible day, they come over and hug me, or tell me they love me and that I am their favorite teacher. I have tried to be there for those students that are having a bad day or are sad because their boyfriend broke up with them. It's true what they say about teachers, we have many roles, not just as an educator, but a parent, a friend, a counselor and a trusted friend.

The majority of the time, those feelings trump all the bad times I have had to deal with kids that don't want to be in my class. Those that tell me I am boring or they hate me, I have stayed stong for the others.

I go on for those students that walk in to class with a smile on their faces, to those that shake my hand and give me "high fives" or stand with me as I have the door open before class starts.

At the end of the concert, the band director gave a speech to the senior class and he said something that I have learned this year to be true. It is not about us, or our career, it is about the kids.

My greatest fulfillment this year, I thought, would be successful lectures, kids enjoying the lessons and interaction with other teachers. But the most rewarding experience this year has been from the relationships I have builded with my students and their parents. My greatest joys and accomplishments are not my own, but the smiling faces of students when they have understood a lesson on expository writing or be able to use a literary term or be fully engaged in a story we have been reading and come out with the experience of enjoyment and happiness.

This is why I want to continue being a teacher. It's not about me, it's about them. No matter how challenging they may be, what problems they might be having, everything I am doing is for them and their future.

I want to continue being a teacher because I think I can make that difference. I know I can make a difference. I know that all the stress, all the sleepless nights of worrying about the kids and lessons, was worth moving 10 hours away from family, to a city I had never been to and be alone for almost a year, all to fulfill a dream of teaching. This experience, this entire year, I cannot not express it in words. 

I wish I could have had the guts, I wish I would have encouraged myself, push myself to attend all the performances and sports. I don't want to regret, but learn from this. Next year I will get involved, next year I will be that teacher involved not just with their education, but be a cheerleader at their performances, football games and other events.

Today, was a good day.