Enigma

These past couple of nights I haven't been able to sleep. I have been having nightmares about tornados chasing me. There is this one dream that left me with a very unsettled feeling, One that I haven't been able to shake. In my dream I am outside and I am carrying a baby girl who is hugging me tightly and smiling. She calls me "momma" and giggles as if I had said something funny. I then feel a small hand holding my hand tightly, I look down and it's the hand of a small boy. Just as I take in the moment, I experience a wave of happiness that comes over me, then suddenly very cold and hard winds start up. I look up and the dark clouds begin to form, rain starts up and not too far away in the disturbance I see a really big tornado coming our way. Just as I am about to start running to protect the kids, the loud sound of wind disappears and we are now sitting by a lake. Our bare feet splashing the warm water and more children are seen running around. There's more laughter coming from the kids. I can see the little girl. She has blue eyes and blond hair and wearing a really cute summer dress. She makes eye contact with me, we both smile. I am looking at her, smiling because in my dream I know she's my daughter. Then a faceless man approaches me and touches my shoulder. He's talking to me, telling me he's going to the house to get lunch ready for me and the kids. Again, just as I feel a warmth of comfort, the lake starts to fill quickly with water, everyone starts running. I frantically run to get my kids, and in a split second, I am standing alone. There's no sound, no storms, no voices of children playing. Just me walking by myself, wondering around feeling the pain of loss and confusion.