Change my mind

**I wrote this last night, when I couldn't sleep**

I left campus this morning during my conference period, crossed the street and headed over to this Mexican restaurant for some tacos. Well, people call them burritos and that's an argument I have had with them before to explain, but they don't get it. They are tacos, not burritos, but whatever.

As I crossed the street, there was this eerie silence. I could hear my footsteps, my breathing. No cars in site. It was a welcoming site and very ironic (wait, am I using this literary device correctly? It's late, not sure) because I work at a very noisy place filled with a bunch of teenagers.

Then I thought, wow, is this what my life has succumbed too? I am usually ok with my being alone and spending time in my head, because when you live alone and have no one, that's what you do. You have a lot of time to think and when you try to talk to people or text, they are usually too busy for you. Or when you are walking down the hall or go talk to someone and they look at you weird. Maybe I have forgotten how to make that human connection or maybe people are so used to not being alone, having someone talk to them from out of the blue is the weirdest think they have done that day?

** wow, is it bad I don't remember writing this? I do remember it was 1 am **

This morning I headed to work. We were all asked to go and plan for next semester. I didn't want to go, so tired. Both physically and emotionally. I understand that we have to make sure we teach what needs to be taught so the kiddos can pass the test, but all this planning and metrics and numbers and meetings, it's just stressing me out. I wish the English department had a day off after all this. Taken out on a field trip. We all get on a school bus and we are taken somewhere fun to play. I know we are responsible for the hundreds of kids that we take care off, but who's taking care of us? Everyone is so concerned about the kids and not the adults.

Today I was just annoyed, then stressed, then worried. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I stayed in my room for most of the four hours. I am just glad that we finished and left school early. I went to the store and bought woke geoceries. 

Tomorrow I shall enjoy the day off and not worry about anything.