So the book flew near my face

Last semester one of students, who was refusing to do any work and acting up decided that while I was looking away he would throw his literature book at me. This book feels like it weights 5 lbs. it's heavy and thick. I was near the bookshelf so obviously it hit the shelf and not me. I was caught of guard, why would someone be so angry at another person just because they are asking them to sit down, be quiet and do the work like everyone else? Later I found out he's had abandonment issues, he's always angry and that's the only way to deal with life.

Now, almost a school year later, that kid that will forever be known to me as, "that kid that threw the book at me," walks by me in the hallway and will say with a loud proud voice, "ms. Acosta is my favorite teacher!"

Once I asked him what it was that changed. Why was he so angry at me and then suddenly so sweet. He said I was the only teacher that actually cared about him. When he acted out, teachers would send him to the office or kick him out of class. "You ms," he said. "Actually talk to me and don't yell at me."

I had to hold back tears, this job is hard.

This job has shown me another side of what teaching is all about. Kids who are angry, upset or just mean are always usually dealing with something at home or are having a personal issue. 

A few weeks ago, we had a parent meeting, trying to figure out why one of my students was acting up in class, failing every subject and in in school suspension for weeks at a time.

"My girlfriend is pregnant," he said putting his head down. 

He's only 14-years-old. My heart hurt for him.

Besides being an English teacher, I am also a Special Needs teacher and require a co-teacher for some classes. Every other week I take part in ARD meetings. It's a way to review how they are doing, what they need as they go to high school and other accommodations. I always walk away from those meetings with tears in my eyes. Sometimes my life problems are nothing compared to what they are dealing with. Life is harsh for them.

But why am I talking about this? Well, today something similar like the book throwing happened. The same bookshelf has a bottom sliding door, one of my students hid inside, when I caught him and tried to open the door, he pushed the door, and fell to the floor. As it went down, it hit my wrist. I was in pain but nothing horrible happened. He was sent to the office.

Today was a hard day. One more day and spring break begins!