It was nice.
The morning light was beaming from the sun this morning. It was a feeling of comfort and for the first time in a while, there was no fear and no thought of heading for the nearest exit out of this.
Today was a good day.
Truth be told, it was yesterday as I was sitting in that hospital bed, alone with the IV drip and the blood pressure monitor beeping that I came to the realization that I am stressing over something that's not worth my time. I have always been a strong person. I have shown that with every decision I have made in my life. I have changed careers, moved away for jobs knowing that it is a good move for me. I have never been afraid of a challenge and I have also gone against the waves. You tell me I can't do it? Screw you I can prove you wrong.
All day today, as I sat here in my room listening to music, I knew things had to change. It will be a tough road ahead. It will have it's challenges. I will probably cry a little bit, but ...
And I have to believe that. If I don't, then life as I know it is not worth living.
Yes, this has everything and nothing to do with what has been happening to me the last few weeks. Why I took a nosedive and allowed myself to end up as sick I did, I will never know.
My life is worth more than what I was doing emotionally to myself.
I am sure my one blog follower, or Tori Amos fan that Googled her and I came up instead (sorry about that) is wondering what I am talking about. And that's ok, there are things best left unsaid.
Tonight I had dinner with my friend Jenny. I am glad to have a friend who I can just hang with and laugh. We had dinner at Abuelo's and I ate this:
And this:
And I don't regret this one bit. This was amazing.
Tomorrow is back to work. I am actually excited about tomorrow.
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